Today I saw you

Today I saw a picture of you

All the memories I suppress fluttered back

The feelings were felt once more

Yes, even the ones I loathe

Today I saw a picture of you

I was once again reminded of you

Reminded of the things you took from me

My heart is full sorrow for the friend I lost

Today I saw a picture of you

A picture that I wanted to burn

A picture of a man who hurt me so

A friend who was not really a friend

Today I saw a picture of you

Of a person who is lost

Of a person who blames the world

For the misfortunes that he brings upon himself

Today I saw a picture of my mistake

That I wish I could burn off my skin

To day I saw a picture of a blank space that for ever will be known as you

Random thoughts

Forgive yourself

The hardest part of life is not making mistakes because everyone makes those. No, the hardest would have to be is accepting the fact you made a mistake and there's nothing you can do to change the past. The only thing left would be is to forgive yourself for hurting someone else in the process of you learning a lesson. I think we tend to forget that we are only human at the end of the day.


Would take it back

I feel stupid for loving you 

Stupid for wanting to believe in you

For letting you in my heart 

They all worn me 

Told me to stay away from you 

I thought I could handle myself 

Believed that my feelings were nonexistent 

Boy, was I wrong 

They carved there way out 

Try as I may they spilled,

Out all over the place 

Now things have changed 

I should have listened 

I shouldn’t have loved you 

But I did and still do 


Screen Shot

All we have left are memories

memories of who we used to be

minuets forever stored in our minds;

of a single moment, that meant something on that day.

All we are left with are screen shots of a person’s life.

As if that one moment can capture it all.

As if their essence can be captured in time

So much can change in a year

So much has changed from then too now

I carry old scars along with the new

I feel them every day as I move

They make me who I am today

Yet, it doesn’t hurt any less

As I go down memory lane

I see flames

I see feelings that went unsaid

Words that later were said in the most hurtful ways

Words that slice through your soul

They burned like acid running down your delicate skin

Skin that will never be the same again

Now, my only regret is not seeing what truly was

That the person who I thought you were had vacated

That the new tenant is a cruel creature to behold

So those memories that once were so dear are no longer

They will fall into a bottomless pit never to surface again


One more run

All I wanted was to set a good example

All I wanted was to be a good wife

All I wanted was to be a good mother to be

Where did I go wrong?

Did I make too many late runs?

I said last time was the last time

One more deal and all of this would be over

Yet, here I am

I feel the metal of these handcuffs cutting my circulation

My children crying in the corner

Asking where mommy is going?

Where did I go wrong?

What if I had finished school?

Would that have made a difference for me?

Things were supposed to be different for me

All I wanted was to be a good mother

To be a better person for them and me

Yet, the stain on the wall I just made it worse

 No amount of scrubbing is going make it clean

Too much damage has been done

My poor children are losing me

For one more last run

That’s what I said; one more last run

I guess at least that was true