Inspirational, Poems

My own

My view is clouded

I can’t seem to distinguish

Between reality and a delusion

How I wish my reality was a delusion

My view is clouded

My heart weeps for the past

I am my own rock theses days

I am all I have left

In my weakness I remember

All the lessons of the past

In my clouded view I search for laughter

I search high and low for a glimpse of hope

My view might be hazy

My heart might be broken

But I am my own rock

For better or worse

Poems

My life

My past is gritty

It’s fog on a rainy day

Both beautiful and ugly

the exterior is flawed

The perception is a lie

I’m not this angel with wings

I’ve burned a long time ago

My past is gritty

The scars on my skin are very real

Sometimes I feel them at night

They drown me in nightmares time to time

Admitting my sins is worthless

There’s no twelve step program for it

For they will always find away back

Blood will always remind me of the past

My past is gritty

The perception will always be a lie

Poems

Full of hate

In a world full of hate

We can not cross the lines

We can not walk alone at night

In a world full of hate

We are always too polite

Our ears burn from time to time

We hold our tongue from speaking our mind

In one word they show their dislike

With two fist they show their intent

In a world full of hate

How do we determine who is genuine?

Who do we trust?

How can we trust a smile when, so many

hide and coward behind it?

Who is a friendly person and who is not?

In a world full of hate?

Who do we become?

Poems

A date with the boss?

The man in charge of everything

Always needs to be in control

Hardly breaks a smile anymore

The man in charge who are you really?

Are you the kind of man whose actually sweet?

Sweet underneath all the grudge exterior

Are you something more than the boss?

Should I go on a date with the boss?

Hey you, the man in charge there must be something different

about you then what meets the eye.

Random thoughts

In the quietest moments

As my birthday approaches my count down becomes more silent. In the quietest moments I whisper five more days. It truly amazes me how far I have come in a short amount of time. While life has not been easy for me, from over coming cancer to falling in love for the first time and having it cause me turmoil; I try to remind my self to keep moving forward. If I am honest with myself and all of you I never thought I would make it to my twenty-six birthday. The thought had never crossed my mind; in truth I had not thought past the age of twenty-four. Now, that I am here I find myself wondering what would become of me. If I would want to marry one day or even birth children. I have always been the type to live in the moment because the future always seemed unreachable. As I said I have come along way in my personal and professional life and for that I am truly grateful. Even knowing that, I know that my tough road has not ended, but only truly started, so my birthday is bittersweet for me. Yet, as I keep going on with my days I tell my self one word forward.

Pictures

Every passing day

My smile grows tiresome every passing day

my heart feels heavier with pain

All I can say to myself is forward

My smile becomes less frequent

My smile is less genuine every passing day

Do you see my tears?

I dare you to see the hurt you have caused.

Look real close into them and you’ll see my past life

All my past smiles and laughter.

I smile less and frown more

I laugh less and cry more.

My smile becomes more tiresome every passing day.